心理学を学んだからこそ、子育てをしたい

先日のブログで、恋信人修行・純愛なんて、子がいない状態では難しいことをのべた。

しかし、子がいると成り立つ可能性があることを考えると、子育てに興味がわいてくる。

僕は汚い男であるが、「子がほしい」という衝動が僕をかりたて、一日15時間も勉強したりうつになりながら院試をがんばったり、スポーツをやりすぎて疲労骨折なんてしていた(進化心理学の考えによると)。

だから、忠実に公言しよう。

「僕は、学んだ心理学を子育てに活かしたい」

お遊び伝授

1. 大学の心理学で、家族関係について学ぶ

大学と、大学院で少し心理学を学び、親と子の関係の大切さに気づいた。

最高に子を伸ばすエジソンの母みたいなのがいるが、子どもの気持ちなんて見ようともせず、道具みたいに扱う親もいる。

しかし、その背景には、親も自分の親からそのような子育てをされてきたのであり、誰が悪いかなんて言及するのはめんどう。

このように、心理学を学んで子育てについて注目した僕だが、自分の親ばかリ糾弾し、子と言う安全な立場で、子育てを批判ばかりしていた。

なんか、それはださい。

2. 子育てしたことないのに子育てを語ってはならない

このように、ブログや動画でも、「子どもの主観的な意見が入っていない子育てインフルエンサーはしょうもない」とか、「うちの母と父は共感性のかけらもない」なんて言っていても、それはサッカーをやったことないやつが、サッカー選手のミスをはやし立てているのと同じだ。

要するに、とてもださい。

自分はリングに上がらないのに、リングで戦って苦しむ人にやじを入れる人間と同じことをしている。

とりあえず、親になれば見える景色があり、親から子へ受け継がれてきた「好ましくない子育て」を自分の代でとめることができるかを検証したい。

そもそも、子作りというのは「母と父の遺伝子を残そうとする利己的な行為」なのであり、僕の子がほしいという意見も批判されることでもない。

3. 子育てをするために自分に足りないこと

このように、理性を取っ払えば、子が欲しいというのが正直な気持ちである。

しかし、今子を持っても、パートナーも自分も苦しむだけだ。

なぜなら、僕は自己実現ができていないのだ。

理想自己からかけ離れた生活をしていると、パートナーや子にあたるという、自分ではなりたくない姿になってしまうだろう。

だから、理想自己というものに近づいていく作業が必要だ。それに伴って、今は女から蔑まれるほどの地位しかないが、経済力というのも徐々に増えていくだろう。

とりあえず、経済的なものを蓄えて自己実現を成した時、僕は30とか29あたりでできちゃった婚をしようと考えている。

なんとも危険思想だが、結婚と子作りまでに数年も付き合うという、オキシトシンたっぷりの人間がする恋は僕にはできない。

恋愛の型においても向きと不向きがあり、慣れない環境にい続けることが苦しみを生むように、不向きな恋愛をしても苦痛なだけだ。

このように、僕は心理学を携えて、そして世の子育てを俯瞰してみる中で、自分もリングに立つという一つの目標がある。

投稿者:

お遊びメンター

将来カウンセラー・心理研究者を目指している学生です。これから心理学を学びたい,現在学んでいる方などに役立つような情報を発信していきたいです。または、日々の生活の中で見つけた気づきも書いていきます。

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